I'm so bored. Bored of doing the same things again and again. Of getting up in the morning, of eating, of sleeping, talking, laughing, listening, staring. I feel like I'm stuck in a vacuum. Nothing's moving, nothing's changing, nothing's getting affected...
I'm scared, I don't feel anything deep down inside myself, I hope I didn't kill my feelings...atleast I feel scared...
I'm tired of thinking of answers that are never right. I'm tired of waiting for that world to come true, for my little world to be the real world...I don't even know what that little world of mine is. I'm tired of explaining...of looking for reasons.
There don't have to be reasons for every damn thing, right? There can be things that are just there, that may not belong, but still feel good...right?
Who's asking these questions? I'm not... I believe there has to be a reason for everything. Everything that exists has a purpose. It has to have a purpose. Why else is it there?!
...why else is it there... Who made these things? Who got them here, who put them in this place, in this postion? Who'll answer my questions? Whom should I believe?
I'm so bored...I've tried every way out, but nothing works...I'm stuck here...in this void. No matter where I go, this is the place I have to return to. Now please don't tell me its because I don't want to leave, its because I don't believe I can move on. Don't throw my own words at me. I don't like them anyways. I only want to be alone...I don't want you smart successful people telling me what to do. I know, I know all the tricks. But I don't want to use them...and so what? I change my decision. I break all my promises. I'll run away. I never asked you to trust me, I never told you everything I say is true, I never asked you to depend on me. I never said I'd play fair...
I wished I could leave myself alone, I wished I could come out of myself, just take a break from myself. I want to feel empty...I want to see new places, new faces, new knowledge, new ideas...I want to be a new person...I'm weary...