thursday, the day i look so pretty!

how right you are! i will write! its just what i was thinking while having the crazy hot shower with the nice smelling oil.. i will rejuvenate the blog one of these days. and write about crazy things. like the colour of dirt that i pull out of my drain pipe and the centipedes that are so much on my mind thanks to the current project, and the feeling i feel when i feel this disgusting feeling of feeling so blue. how cool! the - feeling - i - feel - when i - feel - this disgusting - feeling - of - feeling - so blue. so many feelings. and then i will do a course in typography in banglore where i will live because it is a city which has an art college and because it is in india and because it is a little far from bombay and baroda and gandhinagar and ahemdabad and because it is not so far away from all these places either. and because i must do something with the time given to me, so i can live with the people given to me, but still i can live without these people at the same time. and because it is all a lie. i will live neither in bombay, nor in banglore, not london, nor melbourne, nor kutch or baroda or gandhinagar or ahemdabad or delhi or assam or america or greenland or china or japan or nepal or indonesia or anything. i will live in the wrong world. at the wrong time. in the wrong life. doing the right thing. but getting the wrong results! believing in the right things but believing so much that the beliefs hold true no longer! intense, everything is so intense. everything is so over done. for example, read this mail! or look at my drawings! or listen to change by tracy chapman, or hey there delilah. or read robert frost's poems. or meet someone. anyone.

how about starting to write right now, i will write this.

if ever you happen to stray to this place, today is the day i hate you more than anything else in the world for you have made me play and played with my feelings enough. i hope i never forgive you. you have given me a life, yes, but a life that i do not wish to live. well. at least one step ahead of my father and mother, they gave me birth but forgot to give me a life.